Friday, July 19, 2013

We're at the Beach House

Hi friends.  Its been a while.  Things have been crazy for my family - we're in the middle of a move to Jacksonville, Fl, in which Wes has been there since May & my kids & I have remained in Moncks Corner until we found a house & all that goes along with that.

I've talked very little to my mom about our move.  I know at the stage she's at, she won't remember, & it could very well become a huge stressor for her in that moment.  Even so, between over hearing moving talk, & Lisa currently traveling, I think she's a bit confused at where I'm actually at.

Last night, we called on Skype, like we do most evenings.  As soon as she sat down, the house phone rang, & my dad went to answer it.  It was then just me & my mom.  She was very cheerful (a nice surprise!) & asked me how I was & then asked where I was now.  I replied that I was at "home" & told her we had been to the grocery store, etc.  One of the hardest things I've had to learn to control over the past couple of years is my laughter, & I'll tell you why.  Her next sentence was, "we're at the beach house & wish y'all were here too!"  She was sitting in their living room of 30 years in Inman.  I know they've had a lot of rain lately, & their backyard very well might look like an ocean.  Who knows!  Or maybe that beautiful view of the blue ridge mountains they have looked like the blue of the ocean on that particular day?  Which ever it was, she was happy & told me they were having a great time!  You learn to go with it, especially when its a happy moment.  I told her I wished I was also at the beach house.

What makes it an even better 'laughing through the tears' moment is that even though she didn't recognize her house of 30 years, my daughter jumped in my lap about a minute & a half after the beach house comment & she automatically said, "well hey Sadie Grace!", without skipping a beat.  Once again, the crazy world of early onset Alzheimer's has given me a headache.  She doesn't remember she's at her house, but she remembers my 5 year old's name?!  Don't get me wrong, I'm ecstatic she remembered Sadie's name, there are times when she has trouble getting it out, & I know they'll be a day when she won't know it, but its so frustrating that she remembers something so new, but forgets something so familiar, & doesn't feel like she has a home even when she's at the house she & my dad planned & built 30 years ago.

By then, my dad was back, & they went on talking to Sadie about her day & trying to get Hudson to come over & say hey (he's 2 & doesn't really like to sit still to Skype!).  Sadie was my typical silly 5 year old who can read her Nana J's mood so well & kept doing stuff to make my mom laugh over & over.  I have such an amazing little girl!  & my mom's laugh, such a beautiful sound!  I don't get to hear it enough anymore.  I think the biggest lesson this horrible disease has taught me is to treasure every single moment of joy, no matter how big or small, & make as many memories as possible, even with the little stuff.  I know for the rest of my life, God willing, I will be able to look at the computer & "see" my mom & daughter on Skype making silly faces back & forth to each other, & both of them giggling like crazy.  Isn't it funny how silly faces can bring tears of joy & sadness to my eyes?!

Cherish every moment you have with your loved ones friends!