My daughter turned 4 on Valentine's Day. My dad has been trying to get down for a visit since before her birthday. Here it is, February 23rd, & they still haven't made it down. My dad did get sick last week & we were glad he didn't share his germs with us. So, he decided they would come down this weekend. He thought it would be nice to come down on Thursday afternoon, so they could visit Thursday evening, all day Friday, & half of the day Saturday before heading back. That way, they could take Sadie shopping for her birthday, which they've been promising, & also help celebrate my birthday, which is Sunday.
Before I continue, I need to give you a little background info so you better understand this story. My mom has turned into one of those little old ladies that go to her hair dresser every week to get her hair "done". For as long as I can remember, my aunt Dot, has gone every week to get her hair done. It use to be on Wednesday afternoons when I was younger. Now that my cousin has her cosmetology license, my aunt Dot & my aunt Kat (who is my cousin's grandmother), go get their hair done every Friday morning. For the past several months, my mom has been going with them to get hers done as well. This has actually been a great arrangement for a number of reasons - 1. it gives my mom something to look forward to every week; 2. its a great opportunity for her to get in some socialization with someone other than my dad; and 3. it gets my mom's hair clean! See, my mom has always been one of those women who washed & dried her hair every day/every other day, then fixed it every morning with her curling iron, ALWAYS! Never anything fancy, but she took 5 minutes to make her hair look nice. Once her Alzheimer's started progressing some, she started loosing track of when she washed her hair, & some days she wouldn't even brush it.
This was really hard on us. It's tricky telling someone you love that they need to brush their hair before you leave to go out to dinner, or to church, etc. And, its even trickier telling them they need to wash their hair when they take their shower. While my mom's hair could stand to be washed at least twice a week, getting it washed, or "done", once a week is better than nothing. My cousin does a great job of keeping it trimmed where it looks nice for the rest of the week.
Back to the story now. My dad mentioned his plans on coming down Thursday afternoon to my mom & asked her if she wanted to go let my cousin do her hair Thursday morning. Well, the answer was a big fat NO! You don't mess with my mom's beauty shop appointment. An extra 24 hours with her daughter, son-in-law, & 2 grandchildren, or keeping her normal hair appointment for Friday morning - no brainer, right?! Of course my dad is a little upset, but he did put it best, "At least 24 hours with y'all is better than nothing."
One of the biggest things with Alzheimer's is routine & consistency. If you start changing up their routines, it can upset them. They like knowing what to expect. In a world where you don't always remember things you should, or always know what's going on, routine & consistency are things that you can control & depend on. The other is travel. Home is their comfort zone. My mom will still travel, but she doesn't like staying anywhere for more than 2 days. She still gets turned around in my house when she comes out of her room trying to find the bathroom, and things like that, even though I've lived here for a year now & they've been down numerous times.
What Nana would choose to get their hair done over 24 hours with her adorable (& my kids are extra adorable!) grandkids? My mom, that's who! All I can do is shake my head & laugh.....
Jennifer
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